Last week I came upon a Facebook page for vestibular disorders (VEDA) and read a post about what people with this health issue do for work. I have not worked for a number of years and realize my chances of being able to work in a typical work environment are slim to none. I also realize that those out of the work force for more than a year are almost never hired , whether people believe age discrimination exists or not, it is generally a non-plus in finding a good job. In reading the post I found many others were dealing with the same problems I have, and most are unable to do jobs or activities that once took little energy, concentration or physical ability. After 8 years my symptoms have lessened (or I have become accustomed to the new me) but I still have not figured out what it is I can do and be counted on to do on a daily basis…to pay the rent, as it were. Some 30 years ago I was an ophthalmic tech and then I was a homemaker/mommy until I took a job as a pre-school teacher for a couple of years. I have done nothing monetarily “productive” since that time.

The thought came to mind that resumes are nothing like they used to be, but what I could put on mine that would be different to get the attention of someone would be “the patience of a saint”. Not that I am a saint, but I know I have had extraordinary patience in life considering what all I have been through and done. As I mused about this “strength” a commercial came on the TV, a commercial that had to do with patience wherein a man is smoothing out a cement sidewalk when a young boy walks right through the middle of it lengthwise. Patience…exemplified…

Yes, I thought, that kind of patience, a strength, though I am not sure where I would be in that commercial, but wondered, really, what can I do with it? I thought about the photos I take and how sometimes I can do it and sometimes not, but I have no income from it, as I am not a professional. As I wrote those words, I looked up to the TV to see a man holding a camera and focusing on a small evidential detail, as though a nod from the universe that it was listening. Interesting few seconds since I rarely would have this particular channel or TV show on.

Back to what I was writing…

Having seen the one commercial I immediately could figure out I was viewing another one just moments after having thought about what I could do for a real job someday. The next commercial that came on was about “inspiration”, showing individuals who were conquering some sport or feat. Of course, the tears came, as I listened to that ubiquitous song, “You Raise Me Up” in the background of the commercial.

“You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up… To more than I can be.”

Thank you, Universe…I needed that.

I thought of my grandfather for some reason, and his third-grade education and how he could not read or write until he was in his 60s. A few minutes later my brother called. He told me that a woman had handed him a book after having had a conversation with him at the beach. Like my grandfather my brother rarely reads but he read me a quote from Albert Einstein which started the first chapter of the book. “A man should look for what is and not for what he thinks should be.” This hit a chord with me, especially since I have the same book sitting next to me and thus was able to open the book to that same page. A stranger had handed/given him the book just moments before, after having had a conversation with him on the beach in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina…miles and miles from where I was. He said there was a bookmark in the book but he could not see what it said other than the words, Holy Spirit.

Yes…there really is “Proof of Heaven” and it speaks to us here on earth. Proof of Heaven is the book he was given, the same as the one sitting next to me. After I hung up from talking with him I went back to the site and saw a video that showed a man celebrating his 90th birthday. He turned the 9 candle over so it looked like the top of the cake read 60 rather than 90. I am now just a week into my 60th year, and know, there is something yet to be discovered. The title of that video was “Never Too Late/Live Life.” “THINK YOUNG” I hear (ANNCR/SUPER: Think young, pass it on. Lyrics: Moment that you speak …ANNCR/SUPER: A message from the Foundation for a Better Life)

I will THINK indeed…One of the books I have on the table is titled. “THINK, why you should question everything.” T I think more than you would know. The most prized possession from my grandfather’s business is always close to my heart and thoughts; it’s a simple sign to which he attached a pair of horseshoes. The sign says: THINK. I have yet to read, “The Gift of Adversity” which is also on the table, but I always try to think of my vestibular problem as a gift which has allowed me a different perspective. I’m glad I ran across the VEDA page because now I know I am not the only one dealing with the same issues. I know I need to reinvent myself to include more of my strengths.

Thanks, Universe for today’s little circle of thought and synchronicity. VEDA may be the acronym for the page on which I found myself this week, but it is also something else that is not always found WRITTEN in the book of LIFE. The Sanskrit word veda means “knowledge”, more particularly “sacred book”. Apparently it comes in many forms and with a bookmark. The one in my brother’s book made that connection with me with the Holy Spirit. The bookmark in my book still smells of the spearmint gum stick I unwrapped; spearmint, the plant which used to grow under my grandfather’s window.

I went back to the site one more time and looked at a video which showed a man with bloodied knees crossing the finish line. The song in the video plays, “Keep holding on…”

Patience is my strength.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s